And step two: Remember and feel your “magic or sacred” moment. Cliff notes, mine was some pretty heavy duty divine intervention letting me know that I was supposed to be a mom. And I would not totally fuck it up. (After this week, some would disagree, but they’re not on the list, so yeah, we’re not going to listen to them).
THEN, step three: at minute 9:09, Tony asks us to remember ANOTHER moment for which we are grateful. A day I spent with my daughter in February of 2016 immediately came to my heart and mind.
My mother had passed away after a long and difficult battle with Parkinson’s, Dystonia, and dementia. I was in Utah for the funeral, and Cai spent a day with me just derping. Use your context clues to determine the meaning of derping. She picked me up, and we went to a quiet and hipster coffee shop. Yes, in Spanish Fork, Utah. Kind of like finding a unicorn! We drank tea, coffee, and just laughed, and talked, and laughed, and talked, and listened, and learned. We then went to every thrift store and used book store and got all the best books in the world.
These posts about my children are very difficult to compose. I have said it before, but it bears repeating, words do not do justice to the depth of love and emotion I feel towards these two. AND, I’ve been told that my blog posts are too long, which really limits me, HA so Cai is going to get a series of posts.
Back to our WHY questions. Why did this day pop into my head when I was asked to think of ONE moment for which I was grateful? Cai is amazing. She’s wicked smart, as in top student in her undergraduate college program, asked to pray at BYU graduation (this is a huge deal), funny as hell, compassionate, gifted musician, talented artist, all around blessing to everyone. So why that day? What made a day of derping special.
This girl, on that day, showed her capability to bring healing and compassion into the life of someone in need. She showed her capability to see pain in another, and take the perfect and necessary actions to alleviate that pain. This is a gift. On the day she came home from the hospital, I wrote in her baby book. “Cai Elisabeth Olsen (CEO) will be a ray of sunshine for all of those around her, and for the world.” This was not just the impression of a gushy post-partum mom, but a somewhat prophetic statement.
My daughter can literally do anything. She taught herself Portuguese, she travels the world and breaks barriers and boundaries. She has self-discipline and determination that would put monks to shame. She thinks for herself and questions the status quo. But trumping all of that, in my opinion, is her ability to intuitively know how to heal. How to bring light and love to the world.
I think it would be easy for Cai to be a complete asshole bitch. She’s seriously the entire package. Beautiful, tall, athletic, smart, musically talented, witty, socially astute, artsy, and just someone that the world is drawn to. She could very easily be self-centered and egocentric. But Cai has chosen another path. A path of empathy, compassion, communication and understanding.
So back to that day. Why THAT day popped into my mind above thousands of other days. I may not fully know or be able to express, but on that day, my daughter SHONE. Every bit of who she is was made abundantly evident. She loved. She healed. She nurtured. She cared. She laughed. We may have cried, I don’t remember…there were a lot of tears that weekend.
Cai has thousands of gifts that will bless her family, her community, and the world. But her heart,her empathy, or capability for compassion and understanding, these are the gifts that will mark the world forever. These are gifts that often go unrecognized. Gifts that do not receive rewards or adulation. But gifts that CHANGE the world.
Love and Light,