Direct text messages I received yesterday (all from one person, and most received no response from me, but the texts kept coming nonetheless!):
- The term monkey with a machine gun seems about right
- I don’t need examples of how bad you are with men, I know already
- Big mouth Laura.com, your family agrees
- all your gonna get is a stalker, I guarantee. And no friends. (I left your, should be you’re, as it was sent)
- your (again, this is a grammatical error that commonly occurs) not writing anything people need to know or can’t find out for themselves. It’s just chatter and chit chat and mostly all TMI
- That’s the difference between good writing and mediocre
- your (yup) not unattractive just when you open your mouth
- maybe forget the Mormon crap and look at zen and compassion for a change
- if I had a blog like that, people would think I had aspergers
- you are just a big fake
For purely background knowledge, the last half of these went to my spam and were sent in succession with no response from me.
I had a lot to say in response, a lot of defensive and somewhat brutal retorts, and maybe I still do, but that is a waste of time and energy. This person is entitled to his opinion, just as I am to mine. But boy did I want to point some fingers at HIS flaws.
There’s a concept that I love and hate all at the same time:
Try pointing your index finger at anything and discover your middle, ring and little fingers pointing right back at you; three fingers pointing back at you for each finger pointed at anyone else. Of course, the idea is to look within yourself for the faults before you start pointing them out in others.
Some SNL sketch adds the possibility of your thumb pointing at GOD, so I suppose we can either be blaming Him, or asking what he thinks of the situation. Could really go either way.
So while I was mentally pointing fingers at this finger pointer, I took a breath, and looked at the three fingers pointing back at me. (We’ll deal with the thumb and God later)
Am I a big fake Asperger’s monkey machine-gunning TMI chit chat into the world? Probably.
WHY? As always, I always go back to the WHY?
WHY do I spend the time, energy, and take the crap that has already surfaced as a result of this website/blog?
- On a very surface level, a lot of people noticed the changes in my body and life, and asked HOW. This seemed to be an efficient and effective way to get the word out.
2. So why isn’t this just about health and nutrition? Why all the personal shit? This has been and still is a holistic journey. I am continually fucking up and trying to get my Zig Zigler and Maslow in place. I will not pretend to have all my shit dialed in. So when I fall on my face, it goes in.
3. Finally, JOY. (My life purpose is all about the JOY, see the homepage and bio!) Yesterday, I had someone email me the question,
“What brings you JOY, Laura?”
What an amazing and thought-provoking query.
My immediate and instinctual response. (Not edited in any way)
I think, for me, true joy comes from understanding and being understood. I am constantly bombarded by those who are desperate to be seen, known, understood. And I try. I try to put myself into their shoes, and understand or see their point of view. I try to empathize, even if I don’t agree. Not often easy, and I often fail. Fail mightily. AND…it is so refreshing when I find someone in life who seeks to understand and know me as well. It is rare and beautiful to get and get gotten.
That’s why I write. That’s why I put it all out there. Since starting this adventure about a month ago, I have “gotten” so many people. I have learned things publicly and privately that I may have never otherwise discovered. AND, I am also discovering the people who GET me. And those who don’t. ALL of this information is useful, powerful, and life-changing.
So there are my three whys. There are my three fingers pointed back at me. As for the thumb pointing at God. We’re good. He/she the Universe want me to have the whole damn bike shop.
Light and Love,
Big (Mouth?) Laura