Words and pictures can’t describe it. But they’re all I’ve got.
Yesterday started off a bit rough. I was alone. Outside. Feeling sad, excluded, other, apart. (gets so much better, promise! stick with this one!) Part of my sadness was completely selfish. I wanted to be in that room, with my people, sharing the joy. Bearing witness. Connecting. And part of my sadness was purely for my son. I know my absence from the Mormon Church and from his wedding ceremony is a source of sorrow and pain for him. And that kills me. Makes a little part of my heart and soul curl up and wither. More than most would appreciate.
So I walked around the temple grounds, and took these two photos.
Pretty much captures my morning. I walked, and waited, and cried, and sent a few well-placed texts to people I love and who love me.
Then the moment came when the couple exited the temple. SO MUCH FREAKING Joy on their precious faces. A mother’s heart cannot contain it all.
And that boy saw me, and I saw him. And there was love. Pure, absolute, stupid tears (yes, my big stoic son who won’t whimper if his arm is torn from his body, tears up when feeling deep emotion, he loves it by the way!) and our embrace was sweet. At that moment, all sadness fled.
In our family, we may totally fuck things up. We may cause pain, say or do the wrong thing, or make decisions and choices that cause concern or worry. We may just NOT agree with each other. We may be jerks. But our underlying core relationship is love.
When I initially chose to leave the Mormon church, it was, and probably still is, very painful for my family. My father, Hank, has since told me that he prayed and wrestled within on what was the best course of action to take with and towards me. Was there a book, an article, a scripture, a hymn, a conversation he should have with me? What would bring me back? He has tearfully expressed that an answer came very clearly,:
His job is to love me. Just as I am. And he does to this day, and always has. That is the rarest gift. To have someone who disagrees, worries, and wonders about your path in life, but loves and adores you anyway.
Why does this matter? Will it make you a size 2? Who cares?
- Tribe and relationships are vital to longevity and quality of life.
- This site is intended to be about holistic living. If your wheel is out of balance, the physical body will suffer.
You have some knowledge. Take some action. Go love. Hug. Connect. Watch for change.
Light and Love,