Duplex

I bought a duplex at a tax foreclosure auction.  This poor little building has been vacant, stripped, raped, and pillaged for over 10 years.  The duplex is in a neighborhood that has been written off as a dangerous ghetto slum, meant for people who live worse than animals.

I plan on living in this duplex, and becoming part of this neighborhood. The neighbors have had mixed reactions to my presence.  Some have been friendly, some have been hostile, some have been wary, and all have looked different than me.

Every part of repairing and renovating this little home has taken more time and money than I anticipated, and I’ve only just begun. So Yesterday, when 4 brand new vinyl windows were stolen from my home, I have to admit, my spirit was a bit crushed.

The night after discovering the missing windows, I chose to eat all the peanut butter and chocolate that Aldi had to deliver (thank you instantcart), along with a BIG frozen pizza and half of the BIG bag of Pirate’s Booty from Costco.  I then fell into a food coma.

This morning, I woke up, and started the cycle all over again.  I was pissed, and scared, and insecure, and just exhausted.  After a few hours of my pity party, I put on my headphones and took a walk with God and Oprah.  (in that order)  Think what you may of Oprah, she is really good at what she does, and I learn a lot from her interviews.

Today I learned:

  1.  I can buy new windows.  Isn’t it a blessing that I have the means to buy new windows?
  2.  My SOUL and the soul of my fellows, has no color, no income, no status, no degrees, no addictions, no religion, no duplex, no nothing like that.  My soul, and the soul of my fellows, has nothing that separates.
  3. Our souls are meant to be connected, to one another, and to God.  Or perhaps, all of our collective souls ARE God.
  4. We all have a choice.  We can build walls, or we can build bridges.
  5. I can choose love, or I can choose fear.
  6. I need to be cautious, but not at the expense of locking away my heart and humanity.

Light and Love,

Homeless BL

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