I often tell myself I want too much. Yesterday, someone I love told me the same thing.
I brought you into my home and did all of the things that you demanded.
Not only do I want too much, I demand it.
No one should ever be coerced in a relationship. There should be no demands. There should be no ultimatums. There should be no reciprocity. Love and the fruits thereof should be freely given, or not given at all.
So, I let him off the hook. It is a terrible feeling to have demands put upon you in what should be a loving and giving relationship. I won’t demand any further.
I’m also letting myself off the hook. My first reaction is to feel shame, and call myself a needy, demanding, stupid bitch. (yeah, I’m good to myself that way)
But, I’m taking a deep breath, and trying to practice some compassion.
Wanting someone to want you, and to express such desire, is not too much.
Wanting to be included and invited, without demanding it, is not too much.
I am not too much.