If you can’t say anything nice, don’t drink a box of wine.

I dated a man for 2.5 months.  I thought I could love him.  I tried to show him and his family how much I cared.  We did not see eye to eye on things, but in the end, I thought we had each other’s backs.

Thursday was a shit day at work.  Not going into it, but it was, and he knew it was.  His ex wife came to his house to cook dinner and proceeded to get drunk and spend the night.  I was supposed to be over, but was told not to come.

This was a final episode in a series of such episodes.  This “woman”  (I use the term loosely) constantly flakes and neglects her family.  As a result, I get NO alone time with “the man”.  His daughter is 16, but she has some issues and cannot be left alone.  I loved our family time, and told him so.  I also needed the intimacy that comes from couple time, and he was and is unwilling to make any changes or set any boundaries with his ex.  Because it makes his existence easier.  His words.

I asked him Thursday, before all of this blew up, if someone hurt me, and I couldn’t take care of it myself, would he step in.  “You better believe it.”  Well, his ex hurts me (and him and his children) constantly, and there are no plans or efforts for change.  Just a, “nothing I can do, nothing I’m gonna do, this is how it is for the next 2 years.”

So, I got drunk and messaged some horrible (but true) stuff to his ex.  Not my best choice.  And we are done.  He is refusing to communicate with me at all.  I can work with love, I can work with anger, I can work with frustration, but I cannot work with silence and indifference.

He also told me that the way I cut him off when we disagree and my drinking are why he doesn’t love me.  Well, he could have told me that 2.25 months ago, but rather, he sat back, waited, watched, hoped, and found me completely lacking.

In other news, three days alcohol free and have a clearer vision of what and who I want and deserve.

 

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